


Goodbye, Sweetie.

by all_stories



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-03 07:47:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17279954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/all_stories/pseuds/all_stories
Summary: Set after "It Takes You Away", Graham trying to talk to the Doctor and her not believing when a certain someone shows up...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey! This is my first work and it's,,, not great but after reading basically every Thirteen/River fic I decided to try my hand at writing one. Constructive criticism is more than welcome, even though this is pretty short lol  
> If you think this should be continued in some way, let me know and hopefully my writing will have improved some~

“Doc. Have you ever lost anyone?” asked Graham, his voice weak, showing just how sad he is. The Doctor thinks about her answer for a moment. _Should I tell him? There’s… so many. Might be a bit much for him, if I’m honest._

“Um, yes actually. Quite a few.” she eventually replied. If Graham were to look, he would see tears forming in her old eyes. _I can’t, not now. I need to get away, I need to…_  

Graham went on to ask “Who were they? How did you move on?”

“I.. I didn’t. There’s…” the Doctor paused, unable to continue.

“Are you alright Doc?” he said, turning to face her. Looking towards her face, Graham sees the Doctor trying and failing to hold herself together in front of him.

“Sorry, Doc. I’ll leave you alone,” with that, Graham walked into the TARDIS following after Ryan and Yaz. Seeing his outline go, the Doctor dissolves into sobs, before regaining her composure slightly.

River is torn between running towards her wife and letting their timelines remain consistent with their ending in the Library and final goodbye on Darillium. How could one expect her to just stand there? Her wife is in pain. She needs reassurance, to feel love again.

The Doctor speaks quietly to herself “It’s always me. Always my friends. Family. Both. I miss them, I miss them so much. There’s nothing I can do about them. River, Amy, Rory, Donna, Rose, **River**. They’re gone, all of them.”

By this point River has inched closer to her, straining to hear her voice before interrupting her with “Hello Sweetie.”

The Doctor freezes in place, refusing to look at her. “It’s not.. It can’t be. You aren’t real, it’s impossible.” River smiles in that special way only she can.

“Sweetie, if you wanted me so bad you’d believe anything, especially if you could feel it. That’s just the type of person you are.” River places a hand on her shoulder and tries to turn the Doctor around.

The Doctor steps away from her hand, beginning to cry again. “No! You can’t, it hurts, stop _please._ ” Suddenly she turns to face River. “Just go away!”

With hurt etched into her features, River steps up against the Doctor. “Could something that isn’t real do this?” River says as she leans down to kiss the Doctor, before pulling away to look at her. The Doctor pushes against her, trying to get away.

“No- you’re not- how could you be here? How do I know you aren’t just the Solitract trying to fool me?” the Doctor said, sounding like she was trying to convince herself almost.

With sadness in her eyes, River slowly backed away. “I… I understand, my love. See you back on Darillium then.” River tapped her vortex manipulator and smiled once more.

“Goodbye, Sweetie.”


	2. A Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The TARDIS takes the (Gang? Fam?) team somewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'll stick to short chapters for now, mainly so I can get them out quicker, haha

After what seemed like forever, Yaz, Ryan, and Graham were all startled by the Doctor suddenly bursting into the TARDIS. “So then, gang? Fam? Team! That’s the one, where are we off to now?” said the Doctor, seeming too cheerful as she whirled around flipping or pressing this and that on the console. 

Noticing the shift in her mood, Graham gave a look to the others and shrugged before saying, “I dunno Doctor, should we take a day off maybe?”

Barely a second after he finished his thought the Doctor interrupted with “ ‘course I’m fine Graham!” before even considering his statement. “Oh, that’s not... hmm. Never mind me! How about Raxacoricofallapatorius? Haven’t been there in ages!” 

With a confused look, Ryan asked, “Raxa- what?” 

“Raxacoricofallapatorius! Home of the Slitheen, they tried to take over the government once, that was fun! Wait no, not fun, annoying. Well, also fun I guess but-” 

Yasmin interrupted, saying “Doctor. You’re rambling.”

Having been lost in her train of thought, the Doctor looked up, suddenly using a smaller voice compared to her usual bubbly self she said, “Oh. Right. Sorry about that.” 

With some difficulty, as she was still constantly moving around the console room, Graham made his way to the Doctor’s side for a moment, and speaking softly said, “Doc, you’re not fine and I know it. They suspect something’s up too, just know you can talk to us about anything.” 

The Doctor nodded once before the entire TARDIS started to dematerialize. “Oi! I didn’t tell you to go anywhere yet!” she said, directed to the TARDIS herself. “Better hold onto something guys, no idea where we’re off to now.”

Eventually, the TARDIS landed somewhere and the Doctor rushed to the door. “You lot, stay here. Could be dangerous.” 

In response, Yaz said “We’re not leaving you.” 

Ryan added, “If it’s dangerous for us, it’s probably dangerous for you.” 

Last but not least Graham, “What they said.” 

The Doctor sighs, “Fine, but I warned you!”

Stepping out the door, the Doctor immediately recognized where they were, based on the two towers directly in front of them. Sounding almost angry, she pushed past the others to get back in the TARDIS. “No. I can’t be here,” she said, speaking directly to the TARDIS. “Why’d you bring me here?! You know it’s dangerous!” 

The three companions glanced at each other before coming back in. “Where are we?” asked Ryan. 

“And also, why can’t you be here?” added Yaz. 

Ignoring them for the moment, the Doctor closes her eyes. “When the wind stands fair and the night is perfect. When you least expect it, but always when you need it the most. There is a song.”


	3. My Turn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The TARDIS being stubborn, and the Doctor talking to Yaz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the support on this!! Already more than 50 kudos! Hope you enjoy~

“Where’s that from?” asked Ryan.

“Me. On Darillium.” came the Doctor’s short reply. Yaz made a ‘go on’ gesture with her hand, waiting expectantly for a ramble of information that never came. The Doctor was too busy trying to pilot the TARDIS away from the planet. 

“Fine! At least go invisible, you don’t like paradoxes any more than I do.” Throwing down one final lever, she stepped away from the console. 

Yasmin, becoming increasingly concerned asked “What’s wrong Doctor? You aren’t acting like yourself.” 

“Like you would know who that is! None of you even-” she clapped a hand over her mouth and turned away, trying to hide the tears in her eyes.

“Doc?” came Graham’s worried voice. Throwing her coat over a railing, the Doctor ran off into the TARDIS.

Glancing to the others, Yaz followed after the Doctor, eventually ending up in the library. She heard muffled sobbing coming from a nearby couch that was turned away from the door and went to it and sat next to the Doctor. After a few moments the Doctor spoke. 

“I’m old, Yaz. Incredibly old and so very, very tired. I’ve been running around the universe, saving planets, helping people, destroying entire races. Then I met her. And said goodbye to my… River. All in the same day.” 

“Who was she, Doctor?” 

The Doctor sighs and responds. “Was. That’s not quite right, tenses are difficult for time travellers.” She laughs before continuing, it’s a harsh, empty sound. “Even more difficult when you both are.” 

Yaz looked to the Doctor’s hands and noticed a small blue book that almost looked like the TARDIS. Growing more confused by the Doctor’s answers, Yaz asked “What’s that book?” 

“It’s hers, River’s, diary. It’s meant to contain my future, but our time is over now. I was never supposed to see her in this regeneration, nor her I.” 

“Why not?” 

“We spent our last night here, on Darillium. Me being here could be catastrophic if I were to meet myself.”

“We’d better leave then!” Yaz said jumping up from the couch. 

The Doctor also stood up, albeit much slower and said “It’s not that simple. The TARDIS won’t let us.” Yaz is now more concerned than anything. 

“What? Why?” 

“I… it’s so I can talk to her. She doesn’t even think I love her, Yaz! I never even told her, and she needs to know.”

Storming back to the console room, with Yaz following behind her, the Doctor said “Stay. Here.” and left the TARDIS. 

Graham called after her, “What was that about paradoxes?”

She turned around at the door. “My wife rewrote a fixed point in time to save me. Now it’s my turn.”


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry y’all, I don’t think I’ll be continuing this fic. I was hoping some sort of idea would form, but it hasn’t. Don’t worry though! I posted something else a while ago if anyone wants to check it out~

Also!! Working on something right now! It should go up in a day or two if I don’t finish it tonight. All the comments and kudos I’ve gotten on this really mean a lot. 

 

Thank you :)


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